When Life Quietly Comes Undone — and Why I Help Others Through It
Active ReDesign | Heart-Centered Transitions
There wasn’t a single moment when my life “blew up.” It happened quietly… thread by thread.
One day I woke up and realized I didn’t recognize my marriage, my home, my body, or the woman looking back at me in the mirror. My nervous system was fried. Panic attacks would hit me in the grocery store while everyone else just… bought milk and eggs. The world kept going, and I couldn’t remember who I was supposed to be in it anymore. The pain was intense.
I did everything I could to be better: therapy, meditation, apps, and lots of books that told me I could find my way back into wholeness again. I was tenacious in find a way to put myself back together again.
But the truth? The old version of me was already gone.
Then someone handed me Pema Chödrön’s When Things Fall Apart, and it landed in my life like a breath. I didn’t want to hear another person tell be I should learn about acceptance. I just wanted the pain to stop. But I was desperate enough to press play and move forward at a much faster pace then what was occurring. And what I heard made me stop and cry:
“We spend our lives running from the very feelings that could set us free.”
For most of my life—through divorce, estrangement, career upheaval, financial hardship, ongoing litigations, and the deepest heartbreak a mother can know—I kept trying not to fall apart. But what I learned, and what I now teach my clients, is this:
1. Groundlessness is the ground of reality- in our environments, in our lives, and in us.
We cling to stability—stuff, our material worlds, people, roles, identities—as if they’re the thing keeping us alive. But everything shifts. Everything ends. And the suffering comes not from the change… but from the clinging. I see this all the time working with people who WANT to declutter their environments and their lives.
But, when we stop fighting the emotional conflict within- and we leap to free-fall, we discover we can actually breathe in mid-air. It resembles a falling apart. But, in the midst of the chaos of coming undone is the birth of moments to recreate to redesign all over again!
2. A broken heart is not a weakness. It’s a doorway.
My heart shattered more than once.
But those cracks became the openings where compassion, truth, and courage finally entered.
This is why I support people through transitions: because I know what it’s like to armor up… and I know what happens when you finally let the armor go.
3. You can breathe through the pain you’ve been running from.
Letting go…item by item taught me that inhaling your own suffering is not masochistic—it’s liberating. When you stop fighting your emotions and let them move through you, you realize you’re strong enough to hold your own pain. And then, miraculously, you wake up strong enough to hold someone else’s too.
4. You were never broken.
Under all the chaos, fear, and transition… there is still a steady you.
Soft.
Wise.
Whole.
Not “healed” — just present.
And presence is what changes everything.
Why I’m Sharing This
Because this is not just any old blog post. This is the heart of my work. Active ReDesign is not just about organizing homes—it’s about reorganizing your inner world when life comes undone in the face of change and transition. Sometimes it’s intentional, and other times it is circumstances beyond our control. Either way, it’s about creating supportive environments that help you breathe again, find clarity, make decisions, and unpack the emotional clutter that keeps you stuck and begin creating a supportive environment- and life- that supports the YOU you are becoming.
So, if you’re in a moment where the ground has disappeared —a transition, a loss, a move, a health scare, a divorce, a major life shift —I want you to know: You don’t have to hold all of it alone. You’re not broken. And your falling apart might be the first step toward becoming more whole than you’ve ever been. I have walked this path.
I live it. And I can walk with you through your version of it — step by step, breath by breath.
If you’re ready for support in redesigning your space, your energy, and your life…
I’m here.
Active ReDesign | Heart-Centered Transition Support
Creating supportive environments for the moments life comes undone — and the beautiful rebuild that follows.